Types of Weird Guys on Facebook

Almost all of us are on some form of social media at this point, and one of the most inevitable consequences of a social media presence, is the ubiquity of random weirdos. It’s almost as if the internet is a breeding ground for all kinds of weird people you might imagine. Here is an example of a few types of weirdos you might meet on Facebook.

  1. The poker guy.

This is the person who pokes you – randomly, out of nowhere and for no discernible reason whatsoever. And then they poke you again, and then some more. This person doesn’t even make any attempt at conversation. They just like virtually poking people. Oh well, I suppose there are worse vices to have.

  1. The love at first sight guy.

This is that weird creep who introduces himself on the first conversation with some variation of the phrase ‘I luv u’, ‘I lyk u’, ‘u r vry butiful’ or ‘wil u mary me’. Like that’s the first (and probably the only) thing that they will say to you – a complete stranger! These are individuals you need to run away from ASAP.

  1. The personal information guy.

This is the guy who feels the need to acquaint you with every single intimate detail of his life on the very first conversation. How many girlfriends he’s had, how many of them he’s slept with, how many of them he hasn’t, why he broke up with the last one (and every one before that), you just need to know everything there is to know about this dude’s entire existence in the first 24 hours of knowing him.

  1. The random advice guy.

The dude who feels the insurmountable desire to offer unsolicited advice on matters ranging from your choice of life-insurance to life-partner. There is no aspect of your existence that is beneath their notice. Hell, given the opportunity, they’d even advice you on the best brand of laxative to serve your purpose!

  1. The random drug-dealer.

This is the guy who’s apparently tried every addictive substance under the sun – from cigarettes to cocaine – and feels the overwhelming desire to help you share in his intoxicated glory. He will beg, persuade and ultimately downright challenge you to ‘experiment’ with so-and-so substance, promising you an experience you’ll ‘never forget’.

  1. The number collector.

The weirdo who asks for every girl’s number after like…3 minutes of conversation. What he intends to do with so many phone numbers, nobody knows. Who knows, perhaps he’s just trying to build a brand new female-only phone directory!

  1. The no reply guy.

This is the guy who, after starting a perfectly normal conversation one fine day, refuses to reply to any subsequent messages, despite having seen them. I mean it is perfectly understandable if one doesn’t want to talk at a particular time. Everybody’s busy some time or the other. But really, how difficult is it to type out four darn letters – ttyl? Nope, this gentleman is too busy for such frivolities. If you’re very lucky, he may just deign to reply a few weeks after having seen the message.

  1. The random abs guy.

To him, the internet (and everyone on it) exists for one purpose and one purpose only: for the holy duty of seeing and admiring his fantabulous abs! About 12 times a day he will post random pictures of his well-defined and well-oiled abs, biceps and triceps, clicked from various angles, while tagging you and about a hundred other people in every single obnoxious photo. Really people, this particular individual just needs to be unfriended, ASAP!

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Nupur Chowdhury

An eccentric writer of quirky tales, who likes reading, writing, talking, shopping and singing tunelessly in the shower.