WHAT IS A LIE?
A lie is an act of deception. When the other party seeks honest communication from your side, and you camouflage your words with a coat of your own distorted words, then the whole process of misleading is what defines ‘lying’.
WHY DO WE LIE?
We lie because of many reasons. Probably, we want to save ourselves from the feeling of getting embarrassed.
We may not find certain facts, very important to be told. So we present our beliefs in a convoluted manner.
We might even want to spare the feelings of those we love. They might not be comfortable hearing about our inadvertent deeds. These are called ‘white lies’.
We might need forged documents to gain an advantage over our competitor.
Covering truth in any form may give us the pleasure of getting away with our problems. But the fact remains, we are being dishonest.
HOW DOES IT AFFECT OUR RELATIONS?
A survey suggests that 10 percent of communication between spouses is deceptive. And 38 percent of conversations between college students consist of lies.
Imagine a situation where the other person lies to you. Consider the feeling of betrayal it churns in your heart. Lying to spare others’ feelings shall only dampen the quality of your relationships. Lies offer a refuge when you have no other reason to get out of an annoying situation. Like drugs and alcohol, lying is too, an addiction.
Your writer friend asks you to critique your work. But you do not wish to let him down. And you lie that his piece of work is amazing. What use is it? It would never give him his platform of criticism, that could have taken him miles ahead in his writing career. False motivation is one of the greatest deceptions in the world.
A woman asks her husband how fat she looks in her new dress. The husband fears conflicts and lies that she isn’t looking so. This wouldn’t help to improve their relation in any way. Probably he could probably say that this particular dress doesn’t suit her that much. Or he could just say ,’I love you irrespective of how you look in any dress’. Wouldn’t this create a magic in their hearts again?
Say your friend bought you a gift from some foreign country. He asks if you like it or not. You decide not to be impudent and blurt out a ‘yes’. This is pure deception. Instead of being dishonest, you could say , ‘I am touched by this warm gesture of yours’.
A man hates his in-laws and declares so in the presence of his children. But when his in-laws decide to stay in his house for a few days, he needs to put a different face. He praises them and lies ,’ You should come more often’. While his kids say ,’That’s a lie, father. You said something else the other day’. Imagine how awkward and preposterous relationships become.
Same goes in case of your friends. You lie to your friend about being in a party last night. While you were busy preparing for your exams. Your best friend might understand as he gets to know about it. But slowly and steadily, the quality of your relation will worsen. Your friend might never trust you again. Trust is the key to every precious relation.
WHY BE HONEST?
Honesty is the gift you can give to any relation. By keeping others in the dark, we do no good to ourselves. We might feel we are lying with a good intention. But the shadow of failure we cast on our relation gets darker every day. Instead, if we be honest, we can cultivate the bonds of trust, forgiveness and compassion in a finer sense. Remember , once your lie is caught, it would stay in the heart of the person. While apologizing for your mistake instead would give you a brighter opportunity to correct yourself in the future. A little embarrassment and disappointment in the present is much better than a great number of ordeals later on.
Give it a thought. Could a little truth change the perspective of your relationships?