Recently, I came across a word which changed my world! Last one week has made me so very weak, that now my hands tremble and I run out of words! It was something that I would never forget in my life, atleast for this life. It was something that did both the job! Making me and breaking me! But the ratio still remains 20:80, because it broke me a lot rather than making me! It not only gave me courage, but also strength to pour down my feelings. The topic was so very irritating, that most of the time, I rose up my hands. But then, an urge, an internal energy forced me to explore the world. A world which is very rare to critics, which is hardly seen by a professional, the one which remains calm and silently keeps working, sometimes making others and most of the time, breaking others.
I too had an encounter with that someone, and frankly speaking, it shook my world, from top as well as beneath. I almost lost everything. The fun, the thoughts, the feelings, the fear, the peer, the support, the love and most importantly the space from the inner world. Meanwhile, I made a lot of critics who kept their promise by criticizing me and my inner soul that I finally decided to end this chain and answer them, I would rather say, back-answer them and tell, “that yes, I can live without this world and the mask man residing in this bullshit”! To all those, who knowingly or unknowingly became a part of this article, I beg a pardon! Please forgive; because this is the only chance I m giving you, the coming verdict will be mine and you will have to pay for it!
What it actually takes for you to be a part of a change? For me, a lifetime! Yes, your entire life span, whatever you have gained till now, whatever you have in your store, you lose everything! Exactly, what happened with me! It’s not a day’s job; it’s a second’s job. Everything goes with such a thud, that you hardly get any time to tie the seat belt; landing you up in a situation where hardly anyone gets out of it! There have been victims who have ruined their life on their own, and I was the one who got registered in that list. I myself took admission in that race; just to have a sight which turned out to be a painful decision. Starting days were tough, as expected but the end was the toughest.
They say that, if you want the change; be the change. Well, is it that simple? I mean, wearing that change in you and behaving accordingly and that too without any suffering! Hats off to them, who succeeded in this without any hesitation and without going out of their comfort zone. But the pain is hardly seen by anyone. Forget about your well wishers, not even your close ones hold the mirror for you. And frankly speaking, this is the time when you need them, when you badly expect a lot from your peers and dear ones, and at the end what you get is their poor console that again lands you in a pathetic change! I, being a kind of emotional at heart, have always been very traumatic for me! This is the only thing I would not want to carry in my genes, because the more it will grow, more would be the pain for the coming generation. Besides all these, one thing to be very positive is the experience you get in these tough times. Just keep yourself in that place and see how dreadful it can be, where people are thrashing you, not because you are a criminal, but because you are a part of “A Change”. Stupid, isn’t it? Totally stupid! I mean, it’s your life, your wish and your opportunity, to grow, to understand and to realize people’s worth. Yes, this is the right time to do so! It is said that, close ones are always there to help you in tough times. I do agree with it, but a change is the only period where the whole world respects you; except you’re near and dear ones! Think about it!
So just to experience that, I took a step into it. It’s a bitter truth, which even I realized during my course of change. It hardly took me 5 seconds to decide but the consequences are still seen in me. Is it a criminal offence to follow a change? If no, then why are we punished day in and day out? Even criminals are jailed for a particular time span, but our punishments have no end. We are bullied, we are targeted and we are criticized, every second, every minute, and every hour. Who says that you break; only when you lose someone? If that is your thinking, then come, join us and experience our black world, a world comprising of lanes full of pains and sarcasm. And year after year, vacation after vacation, it remains painfully obstinate. Oh, the empathy springing up for its bare-naked innocence, the empathy. And if you feel the same, it’s high time to come up and prove the world that your existence does matter.
Now I feel that, those happy days have departed and that entwined togetherness is slowly vanishing. Behind, it is leaving a trail of happiness which used to be one of my top priorities. Now I miss my indulgence in happy and cheerful times, because long back I switched off that moon light. Time seems to have played long now, not only with my emotions but also with my feelings, that too strong enough to form a crack in my lane. Whatever i tried, to bring that posture back to its place, everything went in vain. That sudden solitude now grows insufferable, that I pray god to take away my soul. The soul which has turned hollow and that hollow emptiness is dreadful to feel. This is exactly not the way I dreamt for; it certainly is an intricate emotion to deal with. I can no longer hold this silence, because day by day it is turning infuriating. The distance seems unrealistic, which I created on my own. It seems to have grown miles and seas. It was long back that I broke up with rhyme, and turned recluse! Are you blind to the things flowing out of the rhyme? The only question I wanted to ask you is that, are you actually blind to my tears? Or is it all because of the ego you generated meanwhile! If that is the case, let me tell you, “I DONT CARE!”
Yes, I don’t care at all! I am ready to die hundred times, just to support the change that changed me a lot! This taught me a new way of living and showed a new ray of hope! Because when I needed you the most, you were busy serving the world, not me! My mind always questions me that now who will heal your wounds? How will you survive? To which I politely reply, “It’s just the matter of time”. Time is the only medicine for me now and you know what the best part is; every time, when I manage to convince my mind, it gives me a sweet peck on my cheek, boosting my energy to another level! Actually i don’t want this to end and to all those critics standing out, there in the crowd, just want to say one thing, “beware”! Now it’s my turn, I am going to rule you! I have made time as my companion and your time is over now! Just wait and watch! I will take this change to another level, where people will not only love it but also love me! I will keep my pace and walk straight breaking all those barriers and soon attain those milestones! Yes I am sure of the road, I am walking in this darkness and I am also very much sure of the hand that I am holding! It’s none other than “A CHANGE…..!”