“Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind.”
Describing love is as endless as infinity. But speaking of the relationship of psychology with love is my part here.
Love is a basic and a little (or maybe more than a little) overrated emotion.
When asked about love, we tend to ignore the fact that it is an emotion too and as the other emotional members of our human nature,
LOVE can be tamed as well.
No rocket science!
And trust me when I say No Rocket Science, I mean it. It’s pure science and proven as well-
It takes only 1/5th of a second to fall for someone.
2. The “Triangular Theory of Love”
According to this theory developed by psychologist Robert Stenberg, there are three steps for falling in love with someone- INTIMACY, PASSION and COMMITMENT.
3. Infatuation owns the highest arousal levels than any attachment.
So, INFATUATION is the initial attraction process accompanied with heart poundings, sensations in different body parts (including you know what I mean 😉 ).
4. While LIKING is a step ahead.
You see the world in a different way, life is more tolerable and a better place to live in with him/her in it, all that he/she does seems to be really pleasant. Intimacy and passion parts of it. Factors could be time, situations, previous infatuations, and obviously intimacy.
5. Compassionate love lasts forever
Compassionate Love develops due to mutual understandings, respect for each other, attachment, affection, intimacy and commitment. It tends to last longer and stronger and is SELFLESS.
6. Passionate love is momentary
Passionate love or Romantic love develops due to intense emotions, sexual attraction, anxiety, affection, sense of interdependence and due to the fulfilment of one’s psychological needs. In general, such kind of love is not as durable as the compassionate one and after a while is more of a burden for the couples.
6. Now coming to CHEMICALS
It does seem to be paradoxical for the term “love” but ‘chemicals’ play the most important role in our love lives.
Adrenaline- Do you remember the first time you got butterflies dancing in your belly. Well, that’s a result of an adrenaline rush.
Dopamine- When falling in love with someone, you experience increased energy levels, less need for sleep and food, focused attention and in the slightest details give you dinosaurs. Dopamine does all of it.
Serotonin- Do you just keep thinking about him/her or do you see your partner’s face in your mind palace every 1-2 minutes or maybe less than that? Serotonin owns the responsibility.
Oxytocin- It is released during orgasm and makes you fall for the person responsible for it.
7. Ever got high?
Well, your brain gets the same amount of ‘hit’ from love as from that of a small dose of cocaine. It’s a sensation of Euphoria that hits 12 different areas of the brain and makes us go all mad for that person.
Talking about chemicals, I would like to tell you that oxytocin also known as ‘the cuddle hormone’, releases natural painkillers. Snuggling can reduce pain, stress or any such thing for about 4 hours or so.
Nestling around or holding hands with the one you love, can make you feel good and reduce your doubts about your relationship.
8. And yes! Break –neck situations make you more vulnerable to love.
Depends on how dangerous it is. According to science, your love is more deep and passionate, if you meet up in a dangerous situation (which is obviously accidental).
9. And coming to the bad part, HEARTBREAKS are real.
By real I mean, It actually causes physical pain to the heart and misdiagnosed to be heart attacks or B.P problems.
10. We go according to our ‘LOVE MAP’
We all have our requirement list aka our ‘Love Map’ and that’s the reason why we fall for ‘THE ONE’. And the process isn’t a conscious one. It’s purely subconscious.
11. KISS and TELL
Not every time you fall in love according to your Love Map. Here the kissing plays its part. Kissing helps you decide and understand that who is ‘the One’.
12. You can save money on a therapist after a breakup
The reason why therapists are able to calm people down and make them feel better after breakups or any such things is because, they understand it pretty well. And so can you. Nourish your EQ levels and there you are. Dealing with you love life as well as anything else.
Let science prove it or any aliens invade our planet; Love remains to be everyone’s foremost priority and continues making us and our lives better.
Happy Valentine ’s Day folks!