“The moment the minute needle completes its first round, after striking 7 pm on the clock, the doors of the home won’t like to welcome you!”, says a stern voice of either mother/father, while permitting to hang out with the friends. What do parents get by being strict? Living with strict parents is not something children wish for, but it is something that they definitely need.
Why do I believe so?
It is because, the strictness that seems like a thorn in the eyes during childhood and teenage time, proves to be fruitful during adulthood. Let’s take an example to explain this to you.
There’s this freedom freak friend of yours, who has invited you for a night out. All your friends have confirmed their arrival, except for you. Even for hanging out, normally, you get permission from your parents with difficulty. This event is a tougher task at hand.
You choose to use the technique of ‘white lies’.
You seek permission to go to the night out from your parents, but on the risk of a lie. The lie is that you are going for a sleepover at a friend’s house and even your friend supports you when cross-questioned by your mother or father.
Unfortunately, your lie gets caught, when the car you and your friends were in while driving back from the party venue, meets with an accident. The accident happens due to the rash speed and darkness of the night.
You might call it one-time bad luck. But, it is not. The parents, who are working tirelessly to give you a better future, understand what’s right and wrong for you. Though the generation gap doesn’t let them wholly understand the mentality of this generation, yet the few basic do’s and don’ts of life never change. It is their strict character that helps you to adopt the right and deviate from the wrong.
The amount of ruthlessness and carelessness this generation has, makes it a necessity to have a rigid protocol that helps them guide their lives. The human form of such rigid protocol is a strict parent. Therefore, living with strict parents is a need.
What Does Psychology Say about Living with Strict Parents?
According to Psychology Today, children need authoritative parents who don’t set many rules, but depending on the issue, act pragmatically, and enforce it on the children nicely. Children don’t need authoritarian parents who are more of a dictator. Psychology Today claims that the children of authoritative parents are successful and courteous, while those of authoritarian parents are more likely to be grown up with low self-esteem and depression.
A psychologist Jacobson suggests that living with strict parents is key to raising respectful children. With the use of rewards along with punishments, effective parenting could be done to rule out the negatives from the child’s life, without making them annoyed from the strictness.
Thus, psychology doesn’t support too much strict parenting. It demands to create a balance, with which the children not only feel uncaged, but also, are devoid of the negative consequences in life.
Perks of Living with Strict Parents
I have explained enough about the need for living with strict parents. Let me put forward some perks of living with strict parents, which could justify my explanations.
1. Add a Pinch of Strictness and Your Success Dish Is Ready!
Arguably, authoritative parents raise children with a higher success rate. When your parents are strict with you, they impose few restrictions on you. It might be related to a few technological restrictions, hanging out restrictions.
Due to this, your attention stays away from the distractions and you can focus on the aims kept on your plate. The only need is to set this plate of aims on a flame of competitive fire and make a confident dish of success! The strict parents are believed to have higher expectations from their children than the lenient ones.
Clearly, once you are focused, the higher expectations of your parents instill a competitive spirit in you to work harder than your potential. Consequently, you end up being successful and if not that, then competitive most of the time.
To support this, Erica Rascon, a professor at the University of Essex conducted research that studied the surveys of more than 15,000 children of 13-14 years of age between 2004 and 2010. It revealed that about 4% of daughters of the nagging mothers had chances of being a premature pregnant female. It concluded that strict mothers who had higher standards of expectations yielded successful children.
2. You Know the Trick of a Balanced Life
Going to the extremes of anything, is not considered good. Life is not always about fun and freedom and doesn’t always go according to our desires and will. Understanding the dynamics of situations and adjusting accordingly, is equally important. With little compromises, life remains balanced.
Notably, living with strict parents makes you learn the quality of adjusting within set limits and still enjoy life. They let you do stuff according to your age and in measured amounts. Thus, you turn out to be a well-adjusted person too. A research by Patricia L. Greene from Ouachita Baptist University revealed that well-adjusted parents yield well-adjusted children and authoritative parents are adjusting by nature to set an example for their children.
3. Strict parents and Good Manners Go Hand-in-hand
Mannerism is one tool which the strict parents use often. Their motive of being stern towards their children is to teach them the ethics and manners that shower respect and courtesy towards others.
“Sit straight while working!”
“Don’t talk while eating!”
“Always greet your elders!”
“Lower your voice while talking to elders.”
“Offer your seat to the older people or ladies if they are standing.”
“Do not laugh in anyone’s face.”
“Hear them out, first. Don’t judge instantly.”
“Apologize for your wrongdoings and promise to never commit the same.”
And the list goes on. Out of the defined rules, that you have learned to follow since childhood, comes a polite and well-mannered person. Living with strict parents, teaches you the strictness of a good character that ought to be followed throughout life.
4. Rarely Prone to the Unjust Treatments of the Outside World
In an article published in the Atlantic, the author Brianna Holt talks about the extra measures that her parents took to protect her from the unjust treatments she could have faced belonging to a black race. She realized that the extra strictness shown by her parents was to avoid those situations of ill-treatment.
Read the article here: https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2020/06/my-black-parents-had-be-strict/612610/
Therefore, living with strict parents mostly ensures that you enjoy a life where people look at you from a fair eye and don’t judge you for anything be it race, looks, language, behavior, origin, or any minor thing. It doesn’t only apply to the minorities, but also every normal child. Children are often ill-treated. They are either bullied or body shamed.
There’s the danger of girls being molested. It doesn’t mean that the parents would cage you, but could definitely help you avoid any unnecessary situations where the risk percentage of such things is high. For example, girls if your parents stop you from going out at night, listen to them, sometimes. By being strict, parents could save you from some risky situations.
5. It’s a win-win situation for ‘Self’!
Living with strict parents, gives you a perk that works for a lifetime! Because you are restricted from doing certain things, the self-control that you have gets really strong. Strict parents don’t buy the most expensive phone for you to increase your luxury love, but they buy you an expensive guitar to intensify your music love. They teach you to prioritize what you need and not what you want.
They give you pocket money, but ask it to spend within a stipulated period. You, automatically, imbibe the art of self-control and you give preference to your needs over your wants. Also, because strict parents ask certain things to do on your own, you learn to be self-dependent. They expect you to work in certain ways, habits, and with deadlines which inclines you towards the quality of self-discipline.
All the values that they instill in you, help to pose good behavior with the people. Also, the rules and limits defined around you help to cope with right and wrong things. You can identify what’s the wrong path easily and also sort problems out by yourself.
Here’s a Bonus Perk from My Side!
Are you an introvert who likes to interact less with the people on the phone? Or are you a person who likes going out less? Do you come across times when your mood doesn’t allow you to hang out with friends? Well, living with strict parents works as a bonus in such cases.
Saying a straight ‘No’, could sound rude to others. If you don’t want to talk to someone on the phone, tell them, “I had been using the phone for quite some time and have strict parents, so they asked me not to use it so much.” If you don’t want to go out, say to them, “I have strict parents and they aren’t allowing me despite trying so many times.” I promise this trick saves you most of the time.
Having strict parents gives so many perks to your life which you realize when you become an adult. They just grow seeds in their child’s life today for a better tomorrow. Showing strictness is their way of expressing love. Don’t feel unloved when living with strict parents. In fact, you are privileged to be loved so much, as their love and care for you drip in the form of strictness!