It is believed that, fasting once a week helps in cleansing our body. But I also believe that, staying awake once a week/ a month can clean my mind and makes me fresh.
We spend most of our time in achieving some or the other targets; to get good marks in school days, to achieve a rank in college days, to complete a work within the deadline. We compete against the clock and our society, and push ourselves to the maximum potential, in order to get successful. But meanwhile, we fail to understand our inner self, we fail to care for ourselves. Most of us do something to make someone else happy, like our parents, love, society, friends, etc. But we have never cared about what we need. We forget about it.I feel that being nocturnal is the only way to realize everything about ourselves.
When I skip my sleep for a night, I can stay aloof. I won’t have any interruptions at home. There won’t be any TV shows to distract me, I won’t receive any ping from my friends late night. There is not going to be any annoying horn sounds, nothing.It’s completely going to be me and the night.
Few things cannot be put down on paper, and they cannot be shared with any friends. I recollect my memories about my close friends. I wonder about the people who were close to me in the past, and are a stranger completely at the present. I also wonder about people who were totally unknown to me in the past, are currently a reason for me to live in the present. Priorities change from time to time.
I try to find answers to some questions which I ask myself. When I don’t get the answers, I’ll try to have a conversation with the god.I would ask God, for why he showed me people who won’t be a part of my life forever. Why should he cause pain through their memories? I regret a few things that happened and wish for certain changes to happen. I ask God about why he made me face such situations, and when will he be granting my wishes.
But at this night, I also recognize all my faults and mistakes. I also feel that certain events should be taken as a lesson in life.My fears and anxieties wake up only when half of the world is asleep. My future wishes haunt me at this time. How much ever I try, my heart never accepts that the God has got something for me already. My mind forces me to think about whether everything will go as per my plans. I curse and cry a lot to the God. I put all my fears, concerns, and my dilemma to him.There is a turmoil between my mind and my heart. When one of them says a ‘YES’, the other would say a big ‘NO’.
But at the dawn of the next day, I surrender to him, asking for a new day with a good hope!
Don’t you too have your night alone??