Krishna Singh, the Spill Poetry Poet: Living poetry through Anxiety, Thoughts and Heartbreaks

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Krishna Singh, a star poet, and storyteller is now a viral sensation. She is in love with words, and her words make us fall in love with love again. 

She knits her poems with her broken words streaming colors of her favorite Sarees, Krishna Singh opens up about her life and poetry in an exclusive interview with Icy Tales.  From the town of Jodhpur, the Spill Poetry poet recalls her past woes and struggles of childhood.

Childhood Diaries

Born and brought up in a conventional Rajput joint family, an introverted kid scared of the world, Krishna Singh was like any other student just hoping to get through another week of school. 

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“People are never humble with their words, even in school.

 And I was always terrified of voicing my thoughts.”

 

“It’s difficult for me to talk to people. I’m not good at making conversations. I remember people used to come up and say whatever they wanted to. It was completely normal for people to walk all over me, and I always kept quiet.

I was born and brought up in a typical joint family,  had a very conventional childhood. I never went to watch movies or to hang out with friends.

So I started maintaining a journal in school as a way to finally speak not directly to the people but not keeping it inside me anymore.

That’s how I got into the habit of writing down those unsaid words.”

Anxiety & Poetry

 

Krishna Singh knows the struggle of daily life when every cell of your body is anxious. The Spill poetry poet opens up about her anxiety and how she’s trying to do better by taking small steps such as Instagram live and interviews but at her own pace. 

 

“I have a lot of complaints to myself for not having dreams. People have dreams; they just somehow know what they want from life. I never had a dream.”

 

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“I have a bad case of anxiety, and the modern chase of life is simply not my cup of tea.  Nonetheless, I tried pursuing all the’ right’ choices because I wanted my mother to be happy, and the pressure to have a “Secured future” was the only constant support that our society provides. But I was never at peace. 

People usually have goals, something to chase for their life…dreams, I never had one. All I was passionate about my journal and rest was all void. But now, I know this is what I meant to do… I am meant to make people feel their own stories through my words and my voice. My existence lies in stories, sometimes drowning in poetry, but this is all I have, and I would like to keep this for eternity.”

 

“My poems are liberating to me when I perform all I see a stage and a mic.  I don’t see the people when I perform, just the feel of an empty room and everything that I kept inside pours out. “

Poems and Love 

“I didn’t speak when I should have because in that moment,

It was hurting too much…

Even when everything ends

the unwanted hopes, those brazen questions

stay with you”

 

Those who know Krishna Singh already knows her style of poetry and her superpower to make all of us to fall in love with her voice.

‘To be in love is to be vulnerable’, says Krishna Singh.

 

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“All my poems are personal except ‘Mandi,’ and I think because every word that I perform comes from a personal experience maybe that’s why people relate because somewhere we all have lived the same stories. “

It’s hard to cope up with every raging thought that simmers inside now and then.  Their actions and words stay unlike their presence in your life. But what about this fuming chaos that he left inside me? People tend to forget how they afflict pain on others, but they remember poetry, music, and, art. But with internet my words, my pain and love will stay just not for him but for everyone.”

My confession and ‘Mandi’

From heartbreaks to gut-wrenching poems of Krishna Singh, she claims ‘Mandi’ ( based on Prostitution) is her favorite piece. Since her first viral love poem, life took impossible turns, and the first confession shattered but poetry stayed.

 

“… he will tear your letters, delete your existence from his phone

 but not your words,

not your memories”.

 

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I remember being so nervous and terrified of the consequences before I went to stage.  After that, it was just me and the room was a mirror. In my head I was confessing in an empty room, letting go all the inhibitions. Surely, there was an aftermath of questions then more questions. But I never regretted my words or my love. I’ll write or perform what I want to when I want to. I’ll talk about things when I’m ready. No one can tell me otherwise.

 

‘Mandi’ was my second poetry, and it was based on prostitution, and it was inspired by a story that I read long ago.  When I was 12 or 11 years, I read a story in some magazine… I think it was ‘Grihashobha’ or something, I am not sure. But the story was about a father of a 14-year-old girl who went on a business trip and there he got himself a teenage girl for the night. The next morning, when he was preparing to leave, the girl saw a doll packed for his daughter back home, and she asked that to give her the doll instead of money…

So after 18 years, one late afternoon, the story came back to me and rest, you know…”

Definitely not my last love

 

“When you constantly live with pain,

It becomes your poetry.”

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I never planned to write ‘Aakhri Mohabbat’ or a sequel to ‘Phir Mohabbat’, more like I never hoped to write those lines, not for him. But its life and love come with pain. My respect for that person died between long before ‘Aakhri Mohabbat ‘happened.  It took me five months to complete this poem, and it was a healing process for me. I used to write two lines every day and every day it felt empty. 

You feel better after writing something that happened to you, but it’s a cruel process when you take out a piece of yourself on paper because in those moments you crumble from within.  It was not under my control to not to fall in love, I just did. But I do have a choice when it comes to respecting or like a person. For instance, we do love our family, but we don’t like everyone in the family.  So maybe I still love him, but I don’t like him anymore.”

 

Mental health

 

“I was standing in that balcony 

And I wanted to jump… 

But that’s not the end, I wanted

 No one does.” 

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“I have high functioning anxiety, major depressive disorder, and I am suicidal, but still, a part of me wants to write and paint. In my story, ‘Badlaav’ I talk about my mental health without any embellishments and with pure honesty. I believe when you are revealing a part of you as a story, honesty is a crucial step for one.  I got into trouble for talking about my dark side with my family, but on stage, if you are not honest with your story every bit of struggle fall short. 

I  have been living with pain be it physical or emotional trauma, I have lost many people in life and this pain is all I have now. But to live we all need an escape and for me, its poetry and I have found my peace in this. I have found peace in the way I look, the traditional bindi and saree remind me of all the women of my family but it’s not imposed on me, it’s my choice, and to me, that’s empowering. When you evolve, you start to recognize yourself, and I accept myself in bindi and saree. It makes me feel immeasurably close to myself. So all the people, dress whatever makes you feel good regardless of the latest fashion trend, age, or gender.”

Toxic relationships and Art

 

“Accept your grief, denial will 

Only postpone your ultimate affliction.

Live every moment of your pain, crumble down

And then fight back.”

Krishna Singh

“I was in a seven-year-long relationship that shattered, and that wasn’t enough another adventurous heartbreak. But all these years, I realized how significant it is to learn to respect yourself and to allow yourself to heal.”

I have always found peace in colors and poetry...there are times when I want to escape not the only the world but myself too. I reach out to art, I sketch to distract myself. I recently discovered body painting and the idea of a cellular canvas is really close to creating magic on your body.”

It is said that don’t mess with writers, they will describe you and Krishna Singh lives up to that phrase in her every performance.

A simple woman who is capable of melting mountains with her voice,  Krishna Singh wants nothing but the society to be human enough. Follow her on Instagram: @glitteraati for love and poetry.

 

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