Let me quote Leo Tolstoy at the very beginning of this article.
“I have lived through much, and now I think I have found what is needed for happiness. A quiet secluded life in the country, with the possibility of being useful to people to whom it is easy to do good, and who are not accustomed to have it done to them; then work which one hopes may be of some use; then rest, nature, books, music, love for one’s neighbor — such is my idea of happiness. And then, on the top of all that, you for a mate, and children perhaps — what more can heart of man desire?”
Family- a closed, fine structured colossal of love and affection. Lives of humans fundamentally revolves around people who tends to care for them. By blood, by growth and also by intention we use to accept and live together with people and become a family.
Over a long period, the structure and formation of the families has continually got influenced by the changes in society, culture, religion and much more factors. In India we people used to get along with huge families that probably contains two to three generation of people in itself.
As modernization rooted out, when people started reprimanding family member’s interference in their personal and economic matters, families started to split up.
The tradition over families also got affected by social issues such as over population.
First it became “Two children for one couple”, then “One for one” and now it has become “You for me, I’m for you”.
So whether it’s a right paradigm shift in the Human Civilisation? What are the benefits over living jointly as a family? And what are it’s ill effects? Why it doesn’t workout these days?
Fruitfulness of a Joint family
Sometimes in life, we will need people other than Parents to share certain things, to feel hassle free to express our own selves. Sometimes cousins, uncles, aunts, grandmas and grandpas make us feel more belonged and shed affection that brings tears out of us. Joint families help us not to feel lonely or stressed out as everyday seems like a carnival. We can stay occupied, develop our love and affection, become kind, live our days more purposeful and soulful.
Somethings that happens in Joint family can never be acquired from nuclear families.
The pocket money we get from our Grandma before going to school. The support from cousins when we are being scolded by mom, ride in our uncle’s bike, cuddling and hustling with siblings and cousins. Family picnics, festival occasions and summer vacations are the peak merriment in joint families, making us experience the storm of joyousness, forgetting all the worldly affairs and getting involved into the present moment.
Joint families does make us more humane.
Bitter sweet facts
Now a days, people contain in themselves most intricate feelings and thoughts and all they want is a free secluded space to clear their minds. Those household chaos at the mornings and before sleep in the joint families cannot be tolerated by people who go to work stressed and come home double stressed.
Ultimate aim for any average Indian citizen is to own a house and a car. Buying an apartment for a joint family that contains 7 to 10 members is like up turning a mountain upside down.
Need for the children’s and our own future plans and investments had become inevitable in life. While in Joint families, we can’t afford to insure everyone’s life at once.
Accepting the fact that we are running alongside a materialistic\ life, joint families do not tend to fit into this catastrophe of human world that once been stated as the idea of happiness by Tolstoy.
Some good reasons are that, couples will need space to stay romantic. People need space to discuss certain personal things. We may not like the idea of getting judged based on our actions by members of the family.
Finally, even though joint families seems to be the better idea of happy living, it cannot sustain in this fast forwarding days of ours. Yet if we don’t mind, as people now a days become more connected even stay apart, we can live socially connected with our families outrunning the mishappenings of traditional joint family and bringing in the fruitfulness that had been entertained from it.