Saturday, August 15, 2020

I Can Be The Girl That You Love

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Wondering what it feels like to be in love with someone without loving your self? Continue reading this tale “I can be the girl that you love.”

I Can Be The Girl that You Love

In the world full of sceneries to cherish and beauty to embrace, I have felt content, or I thought I did. Sipping the last bit of the coffee that you bought for me, sitting on the window sill, I caught myself wondering, I can be the girl that you love.

After longing for the love that you once gave me, I am still yearning for you. Now I have decided that I can be the girl that you love.

I wish I could experience the burning of the sun; maybe then I would not miss your warmth anymore. How have you been after realizing that you have fallen out of love, or did you never were in love?

Questions. Hundreds of questions I have for you, but I would not ask them anymore because now I can be the girl that you love.

So tell me, what do I do to make you fall for me? How do I prove that I can be the girl that you love? I remember you appreciating poetries.

You said it feels like the poet has served his/her heart on the paper for readers to hold onto. How your face brightened up and how your eyes gathered all the stars from the universe.

So to let you love me, I am writing something for you.

For you to know that I can be the girl that you love. Before reading it, will you do me a favor? Will you smile for me? I do not want the memory to fade.

I want to be at peace, knowing that you smiled for me.

I can be the girl that you love

From a heart that believes in love to the heart that made it feel in it.

Walking through the roads of my city I used to feel home
until you decided to show me some more of it, holding my hand.
Now the lanes fill my heart with loneliness and despair
of how I will not be able to whisper underneath my breath
That I can be the girl that you love, I want to.

The summer came to an end, and I started knowing what love feels like,
but never dared to tell you my heart.
How beautiful I felt when you looked at me,
and how my name in your voice sounded like poetry.

How your presence used to lift my spirits,
and everything you said just made the best sense to me.
Did I tell you how much I love you then?
That I loved the thought of telling you,
that I can be the girl that you love.

Did your heart flutter at this? I ask too many questions, don’t I? God. I am blabbering. I just wanted you to know my feelings for you while I dive into the oceans of our memories.
Was it all my imagination that even you had something for me?

Every hour of my day, I spent waiting for you to at least give me a call and let me know that you are okay, but it never happened. Every action was a misunderstanding. I kept digging in an endless pile of sand to have just nothing but sand yet again.

You used to mention things that you love. I remember reading them as unending novels with just the aim of being the girl that you love. All the qualities that you found charming and all the things that annoyed you even a little bit, I noted them all.

I was quite determined to make you accept that I can be the girl that you love.

You liked how Ms. Sia used to doll up for coming to university to give lectures. I remember you mentioning that her hair tie was pretty,blue-colored with white polka dots.

I searched every local shop near my house to buy the same thinking that would make you fall for me.

I thought wearing that hair tie would make you see that I can be the girl that you love.
You did not even notice it.

Paintings were never my passion, and they were yours. I don’t remember how many times I skipped meals to buy you pictures of your tastes, you never asked me to, but I was on a mission. I wanted to show you that I can be the girl that you love.

Do you remember that night when I stayed up to talk to you because you were not sleepy? I had a fever that day, and I made coffee for myself to stay there for you. I never told you that I was ill and the funny thing is that you never noticed.

You once mentioned that you like chatty people, people who can speak silly things at times without making the environment awkward. How naive I was to think that reading a web page on the internet would change my introvert personality to an out-going extrovert.

I tried so hard to keep on speaking while our way back home from classes, I did not miss even a single thing out from the topics that I listed on my notepad.

“Oh, you are speaking a lot today .” That is what you said. I kept smiling the whole night because hey, you noticed a thing that I put efforts on. Was it finally happening, my love story was beginning now.

The next day you didn’t even mention anything about it. You were just average, the same “good” friend to me. How hopeless I felt that day.

You asked me out for watching a movie, and I spent hours trying every outfit that I had, I even bought a new pair of shoes to match my dress with. Aah, The dress seems like yesterday when

I got to know that men find women attractive in dresses. I changed my whole dressing sense for you to love me a bit. I was never a fan of dresses, but just in case if you liked them, I knew that I could be the girl that you love.

You mentioned that you liked me in that red dress, I wore it for you of course. I Dared not to tell you, and I was shy, remember?

I can list many more incidents like these, but I don’t want to anymore. I am tired. I am tired of proving you that I can be the girl that you love because, honestly, I can never be a girl that you love.

I am not yearning for you anymore, I am not waiting for you anymore.
I am no longer willing to tell you that I can be the girl that you love.

-Jenna

“Mom, Is it true? Things are written. Do you write to them? Did you went through it all?” my daughter asked with the fire of curiosity and tears of empathy in her eyes.

“Every word that you read is true, Zuni. I wrote to them all when I was of your age when I was desperate for showing a boy that I can be the girl that he loves.”

“Mom, I can’t believe all this. I can’t imagine that you went through it all.”
I smiled in return.

“But ..but why are you showing it today? You never mentioned this to me before.”
Today when I saw my daughter crying on the rooftop, my heart could not bear the pain, I wanted to fetch all her worries and tell her that whatever she is going through will be okay.

The floor through my feet disappeared when she told me how she was trying hard to make someone fall in love with her.

My heart broke when she told me that she wanted to decide to show him that ” I can be the girl that you love.” It was a coincidence of destiny, but it was more than that for me. It was my chance to tell her things which I wish someone had told me.

That is the reason why I gave her this letter, and maybe that is the reason for which I saved this letter.

I never gave him that letter because, with the graciousness of conscience, I understood that telling him all that would never make a difference.

I understood that it was never about him loving me, but I wanted to make him love me. I was forcing things on myself, I did every possible job to change myself for him to show him that I can be the girl that he loves, but at last, I understood that we could never make people fall in love with us.

We can never make them love us, and if we have to try a lot to make them like us, then they are not the ones for us.

“I know, and I understand you’re feeling Zuni, but just remember one thing in love, If you have to change yourself to make them fall for you then it is better to leave. The right person will love the real you; the real person will love even your flaws. ”

“Like dad,” said Zuni, her eyes shifting from my face to someone behind me. Her expression told me who was there and I couldn’t help but grin.

Even before I could, two strong familiar arms embraced me from behind the giggling of Zuni filled the air.

“Exactly like dad,” her father said into my hair, and yet again, my heart fluttered.

“Mom, Can I keep this letter with me? I will read it every time whenever I would feel low. I want to keep it with me, safe.”

“Of course, you can keep it. You can keep it to remember how special you are and how you need not prove anyone that ‘ I can be the girl that you love.'”

With that said, she got up, and her smile was as bright as the sun, her spirits were lifted. She was happy.

” I can never believe I did all that,” I said finally after my husband was my only company in the room.

“Ya even I can’t believe that you especially bought hair ties to impress him, how considerate of you” He teased while poking my stomach.

“Okay, Okay, I am embarrassed now.” I was flustered.

I hugged my husband, the man who I fell in love with. The man who fell in love with me the way I am, the man who never made it a choice for me to show him that I can be the girl that will love.

He showed me that I am the girl that he loves.

I wish that for our daughter, and I want to that for all the people reading this story. I wish for you all to get your love wrapped in the most unexpected and effortless ways.

This was the story of a girl who believed that she could make a guy fall in love with her. The girl who went from ” I can be the girl that you love ” to ” I am what I am, love me if you can.”

I can be the girl that you love

We often meet people in our lives who force us to be everything that we are not. This world is not oblivious to your present, but these people make us believe that it is. We should just understand that things like love, friendship, or even hatred can never be based on pretentious behaviors of humans.

Read these articles to get inspired.

I hope you liked this story. Do comment to tell us about it!

You can read many love stories to get inspired.

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