She looked like spring-time come alive on a wild winter day, carrying with her the blossoms of contagious smile, the aura of friendship and the warmth of the early sun. Her brown eyes tangled me and her curls distracted me whenever we spoke, she was lovely and smelled of roses and lily. This was not it, her voice was of heavenly chimes and her walk was of an elf; swift and light-footed, while her talks intoxicated me and her ways made me lose my path.
The first date at a small coffee shop resounded of the brewing and clinking noises of the coffee cups, it resembled my own little heaven that made my day and my life better then on-wards. I brimmed of happiness, each passing day and laughter replaced the tensed creases on my face.
She instilled goodness in me and carried her own sunshine everywhere, no matter how bad the weather was; her hazel eyes spoke of promises and happy rainbow dreams.
Little did I know that she wasn’t of promises but of un-announced vanishes, she became invincible in the thin air leaving me as a lone stranger. Like a petrified puppy devoid of love I started looking for her in all possible ways and those two months I went after her was a drop-down phase, Hell.
The anguish, the pain ,the intolerable fits of cries that had me strapped to a guilt trip made me look older, the creases on my fore-head reappeared with much more evidence of what I was going through, what she had put me through, The world around me seemed paler and sober ,the coffee tasted sour and bitter ,the park wasn’t of any help, the roads had more traffic and in each vehicle that passed by me, I hoped like a dry leaf not to fall, to hang on, to see her, my life source but every single time I fell hard, I was fooled!!Beyond my imagination that lifted my only hope of living! Maybe I would meet her someday and I would ask her; that insidious trickster, WHY ME?
Then one day, out of the blue, I met her, after three long years at a coffee stall again but in a different city with a different man, linking her arms with his, the vision suffocated me. Whatever happened to the little silent promises, whatever happened to those six months of friendship with strong emotions; it never meant anything to her? I was fooled, yes on my face fooled and I never realized it, still churning up the emotions and waiting for her all these years.
I cursed the stars, cursed the good sunny weather, it was spring and everything was alive again, a glimpse of her made the trees sway in tune, the trees whispered of love but there was something different about her, it might have been her ignorance of seeing me and not noticing. I didn’t intend to meet her ever again.
In the hands of fate and it’s cruelty; a week later I saw her again, this time surrounded by weeping souls, sleeping cold and pale, her curls had disappeared ,her closed eyes still spoke, She was thin and dehydrated ,her look was that of a haunted person petrified to her soul.
From the corner of my eyes, tears dripped. She was lively and happy a week ago. What had happened to make her this pale and ghostly, my brain recognized the breathless girl, I knew that her heartbeat had stopped but my heart hoped for the air to awake her, make her smile and laugh again.
Somebody tapped me from behind gesturing to make some way, I turned to find HER, the same features, lovely hair but it wasn’t in curls it was more wavy, her eyes had the sorrow buried in tears and her small nose had more wrinkles than before. This wasn’t her, while my brain registered the differences I knew it was my heart which instantly caught hold of her, she was a splitting image of her sister, twin sister of my girl who lay in an eternal bed, I was fooled, more than twice, yes I was fooled enough not to go after her with pride and prejudice blinding me! She had distanced herself for me to hate and forget her but little did she know that it has hurt and toppled me off my life, into an abyss! Yes I was fooled out of my wits.
It’s been an year since I lost her, I still wander aimlessly, the wound still tender and raw, a wound that can never be healed. I look at the gift she has left me neatly wrapped and I haven’t had the courage to open it, maybe it will never be opened…