What is first love? When did it happen to you? Love takes all forms and shapes. It could be the love you share with your partner, parents, your friends or even your pets. Love is sometimes perceived to only be in a romantic relationship, but the fact that it adapts, grows and blends with all forms of relationships, and can be equally or even more beautiful than romantic love is inevitable.
Sometimes we don’t realize we are in love. We might show all the signs but still not know what this confusing feeling is. David Bennett, a certified counselor explains how brain chemistry and emotional connection play a big role in the development of these instances. Most forms of love have a very emotional connection to the person and are there before the brain has a fully developed logical reasoning capacity.
The feeling of love also increases levels of chemicals such as dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin in our brains causing us to feel a sense of ecstasy and euphoria.
First Love – What Makes it Special?
Our memories with our first love make for a complete dream-like scenario and many of those moments are cherished and worth reminiscing about. But with every form of love, there are these few things that put the pieces together, that fit like a jigsaw puzzle. The few things that make our first love special are:
1. The possibility of the unknown
The first time we enter such emotional turbulence, we are so unaware of what is going to happen. We move ahead with so much naivety that we live in the moment not wondering what is going to happen next and we experience a brief period of absolute perfection, hoping and believing that it will last forever.
2. The innocence
We all dive into love the first time unaware of the highs and lows and believing that there is nothing more to gain in life. We start deciding what the future should behold and this form of immaturity, the innocence of all this is something we never have since our first love. It comes with unconditional, selfless love, something of the purest, unadulterated form and we truly become better versions of our self.
3. The silent conversations
Most of our first emotions of love happen at a very young age when our logic does not stop us from doing or saying something out of place. What is interesting here is how we have this form of communication through gestures, body movement and eye contact that the person just understands things without you having to talk to them. As we grow older, this capacity of ours to understand others is often lost as experiences start becoming more different and unique.
4. Crossing barriers
It’s a whirlwind of emotions when we realize our love for the other. Without any prior experience, we delve into this black abyss not knowing what to expect of our feelings and we are so confused and bewildered that emotions like these exist and it’s quite a task to conquer it. But the moment we accept our feelings and the moment we decide to be honest about it are special moments of courage that we later don’t seem to need at another instance like this. This mixture of innocence, courage, and childlikeness is truly a combination to behold and watching yourself grow through this certainly hits a milestone.
5. The common interests
Before we learn how to be independent and learn to do things we love by ourselves, we always try to find something common between us and our loved ones. The time we spend and activities we do together not only help us bond with each other but also develop an interest in the activity itself. With our first love, we have this special bond that makes us look for common interests like walking in the park, going to a library or going to the movies. And these activities will always hold a special place in our hearts since then for a very long time to come.
6. The jealousy
Any relationship that comes with our first love builds in us this sense of authority and possessiveness as a result of the childish immaturity we experience. These acts of jealousy when your best friend sits with another classmate or when your mother takes interest in another kid or your partner looks to a friend of theirs for comfort comes with such innocence that makes it so real in hindsight.
You think of all those small moments when the heart kept raging and you felt betrayed by your loved one, which at a later point in life you realize is just as special as the other moments. It taught you so much more about yourself and your feelings at a very early stage in life.
7. The fights in first love
The silly fights. They are the most memorable moments. The name-calling and fist fighting, or just not talking to them for a few days or sometimes just for a few minutes because they didn’t give you their chocolate or you both had different interests. All these moments with first love shape and develop so much of who you become and always turns into a fond memory or a shared joke while reminiscing about it.
8. Celebrating the special moments
Since most of our feelings of love take place during our adolescence, we tend to want to share every moment with our loved one. Be it a good grade or a good remark we long to hear what they have to say and the same applies when our loved one tells us their stories. These are the early stages when we develop our sense of empathy and care and the special moments are no longer mean the same if we don’t get to share it with our loved ones.
9. The endless planning
With us being in love, we feel like we have so much to control and do in life. We tend to plan out each moment to the tiniest detail that nothing should go wrong. Be it special occasions or even just breaking bad news to them. Even buying or making gifts for them go into so much thought that we play it out in our heads so many times and expect it to go exactly how we hoped it would. Later stages of life teach that you can only hope it goes the way you want, but until then, the feeling of the ultimate control is something we always cherish.
10. The heartbreak
With all forms of love, there is a point when our heartbreaks. Whether it is your father being strict and not letting you do something or when a dearly loved pet passes away or it could just be the break-up with a partner. All these emotional heartbreaks and the few things you feel with so much intensity and experiencing that for the first time is just so painful. You feel like your heart just crumbles into dust and you feel it will never be whole again.
But through the process of healing, you not only realize so much about yourself, but you also grow to be stronger and braver. And after many years, sometimes you think about all this and smile, like a bittersweet memory which seems to have somehow just made your life a little bit sweeter.
Love can be confusing and relieving, exhilarating and exhausting, all at the same time. But it does bring together an array of memories stark and beautiful. What are the special things that made your first love special? Do share it with us in the comments below.