Dear Women, How Safe Are Your Men?

violence against men

Ask yourself this question, and then ask it again until you realize that the answer to that question isn’t the fairy tale like as we would claim it is.

The basic statistics of violence against men are these:

  1. About 53% of the rape cases filed are false.
  2. One in every four men is a victim of domestic violence (Didn’t see that one coming, did you?)
  3. We, women, are the biggest catalyst for the truths stated above.

violence men

We live in a country where we believe in the patriarchy of our society more than anything else especially us women. We follow it rather blindly because somehow that is our only defense for our equality. That is the only thing that has kept the fire of the feminism alive for so long that we refuse to run away from it even when the balance has been shifted. But, it is shifting, and it is going unnoticed. Why? Because “Men Don’t Cry.” They don’t complain that they’re being hit or abused or shamed by the woman/women in their lives. Why would they? Women are angels; they’re fragile. Men are tough. How can it work the other way? How can we think of it working the other way? It has always been us. We have always been the victims. We will continue to be victims because men are not worth it.


Guess what? They too are. Not all of them. But some of them. Just like us. A little lesser in the number maybe. Or maybe the same in number because we choose not to care about half of it. But it’s there. And it’s high time we acknowledge that.

A few days back, a report in a leading newspaper had covered the story of a man who was abused by his wife after they got married, for months. He had to leave his parents’ house, had to stop visiting them frequently. He had to stop visiting his friends, not be a part of her group of friends, pay for every single thing she owned, even for things her family owned, and later being charged with a domestic violence case against him. His wife had taken all his belongings, had left him, scarred, abused by her hands (literally), and filed a case against him. How shameful is that for our gender? What defense do we have against this incident?

The same old one? “Come on! Not every woman is like this.” Not every man is like this either. We still blame them, don’t we?


The biggest fear a man has today is the laws he himself has fought for, to protect the other gender he cares about, turn his back on him, and be used against him.

The biggest fear a man has today is that though women do have their way out somehow against domestic violence, rape, assault, molestation, physical and mental abuse; they don’t.

The biggest fear a man has today is that neither being nice to a woman nor being bad is going to end up well for him.

The biggest fear is that they haven’t just lost the immense power, they have given it in the wrong hands.

Think about it.

And think more when you decide to accuse any guy of the things he never did.

On a cliched note, he could be your brother, your son or your father.

Just think.

 “Mard ko bhi dard hota hai”



Apurva Jain

Written by Apurva Jain

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